Worst Case Scenario Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

For some people, the divorce experience is fraught with stress, uncertainty, dread and other feelings of ill will. It did not start out that way, but once reality sets in and attorneys begin discussing the matters of custody, asset division and other financial issues it is not uncommon for bad feelings to surface.

Handling the Worst a Divorce Has to Offer

Fears of being “taken to the cleaners” can cause a person to lose sleep, become bitter and even react overly aggressive in a situation when calm behavior might be best. When you dread getting out of bed because you have to go meet your ex-spouse and their attorney it can have a negative effect on others areas of your life. Perhaps consider this routine to get a grip of your concerns and create a plan to control your emotions.

• Step 1: Write down the worst outcome(s) of the divorce you can imagine. Many fear being left broke and in debt, stuck in what seems like a never-ending divorce, and without a meaningful relationship with their children.

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Dividing Friends in Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

When married couples divorce it is not uncommon for possessions accumulated during the marriage to become subject to division. In addition to cars, homes, accumulated wealth and even time with children, it may happen that even the friends you had during your marriage may suddenly no longer answer your phone calls.

Time for New Social Circles

Even those people who you thought were your best friends may no longer have time for you, or perhaps even took the side of your ex-spouse following a divorce. While that can be unsettling, this time in your life can become an opportunity for finding and making new friends. This will not always be easy, especially if your former spouse was the one in the relationship who initiated the friendships you maintained as a couple. However, now you have the chance to surround yourself with the type of people with whom you truly enjoy spending time.

• Take time to determine what it is you want to get out of a new friendship. Since you no longer have a spouse to consider, there may be an opportunity to get to know people with whom your ex-spouse might not have otherwise associated.

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Dealing with Deadbeat Parents in Illinois

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Uncategorized

Even after a divorce is final, custody agreements are settled and support payments ordered, the adults and children who lived through the experience can still live through periods of uncertainty. This is especially true if a custodial parent stops receiving the child support payments they count on for monthly expenses related to raising their children.

Illinois Laws Push for Payment

For years custodial parents felt they had no recourse if their ex-spouse suddenly stopped or refused paying agreed upon monthly child support payments. To help custodial parents pursue that money, and encourage continued payment, the state of Illinois enacted a series of enforcement programs. These laws apply to both deadbeat dads and moms:

• Income Withholding: All Illinois employers are required to file a report of all new hires with the state. Reports are shared with the Department of Healthcare and Family Services, and Orders to Withhold Income for Child Support are submitted to the employer if it is found that a  new employee is delinquent in their child support payments.

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Serving Divorce Papers on Social Media

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

The introduction and evolution of social media has made a huge impact on a variety of personal and business matters. Now it seems that some people are using social media platforms as a means for expediting the serving of divorce papers to hard to find spouses. This new use of social media platforms has the potential to provide some measure of simplicity in what at times is a time-consuming process.

A New Use for Facebook

As it turns out, an increasing number of judges are approving the use of Facebook to serve hard-to-find spouses because more and more people are easier to find through their online activity. In one of the first cases addressing the issue, the petitioner claimed that even employment of a private investigator provided no results in locating her spouse. However, she had a cell phone number and knowledge of an active social media account used by the husband. The presiding judge ruled that the increased use of social media in a growing number of aspects in life allowed for it to be used as a new forum for delivering a summons. Other benefits of using social media include:

• Facebook posts include time stamps and automatic notifications of who sees the post and when they view it.

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Social Media Mistakes When Going Through Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

There is no denying that going through a divorce can be a very trying time in life. Many people benefit from discussing their feelings with friends or a mental health professional. However, the growth in popularity of social media has led to an increase in the use of online postings as a way to vent about their spouse and relieve frustration.

Some Social Media Don’ts

While airing your feelings and frustrations about your divorce or your soon-to-be-ex may feel liberating, it can result in negative consequences. Consider these tips and strategies for social media use prior to, during and after a divorce to avoid causing yourself or others further harm.

• Do not jump the gun. Changing your “relationship status” too early in the process can take your partner by surprise, especially if the possibility of a divorce was never previously discussed. It might also give your spouse the chance to hide assets or do other things that could hinder your opportunity for an equitable divorce decree.

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Divorce Season

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce and Holidays

It seems, by many accounts, that once the presents are all opened, the decorations stored away for another year and the final notes of Auld Lang Syne have faded, that thoughts frequently turn toward divorce. As is the case with most things in life, divorce is another that seems to have its own season during which the rate is higher than other times of the year.

It All Starts in January

As it turns out, January is a popular month for online searches that include the terms “divorce lawyer” and “file for divorce.” Some studies show it only second, by less than half a percent, to July. So why is January a month when many people begin the divorce process? The answers appear fairly straight-forward.

• Many believe that unhappy spouses put off initiating a divorce during the holidays for the sake of keeping the season happy and cheerful for children and family members.

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Annulment Instead of Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Annulment

Sometimes after a few weeks, months or even years of marriage, the person who is your spouse turns out to not be quite the person you thought they were. While an annulment was more common prior to Illinois’ enactment of the no-fault divorce law, some still prefer getting a marriage declared legally invalid.

Why Some People Choose Annulment

Even though all 50 states have no fault marriage laws, people still seek an annulment. Here are some common reasons given:

• Some people wish to avoid the social stigma of a divorce. While divorce is a common occurrence, it still carries a negative connotation.
• It avoids casting blame on one party or the other.
• Many people still prefer an annulment for religious reasons.
• An annulment can impact how property and assets are divided between the parties.

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Making It Through Your First Holiday Season Post-Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce and Holidays

The divorce process may be one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences of your life, as the relationship you once thought would last forever has ended. Dealing with the aftermath of your divorce while navigating the winter holidays can increase the stress and anxiety of rebuilding your life.

The Holidays Are Stressful Enough

Crowds at the mall, parking lots filled to capacity, family get-togethers and office parties are just some of the things that make this time of the year very stressful. The after-effects of a divorce can increase that stress level, but if you have some idea of what to expect then perhaps you can take steps to avoid adding to your anxiety.

• People like to talk about their families and what is happening in their life when they gather during the holidays. Send a brief note to family and friends that, although you appreciate their support, you would prefer not to focus on or discuss your break up.

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Life after Divorce: Dealing with Bad Memories during and after a Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

Married couples have a lifetime of happy memories from their time together. Divorced couples may have shared some good times together, but when a divorce appears on the horizon the good times often fade and one’s thoughts can be dominated by the memories that led up to or caused the divorce. Sometimes the weight of those bad memories can create problems that affect other areas of one’s life.

Coping Strategies

For people who feel overwhelmed by the bad memories of a failed marriage, simply telling oneself to stop dwelling on the past is not enough. Whether it is self-guilt over the divorce or the memories of words and actions by the ex-spouse, it can require more than willpower to stop reliving the past. Although not a complete list of strategies, the following are some tips that may help.

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Divorce and Depression

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

In addition to the financial repercussions of divorce, the emotional toll felt by both adults and children during and following the end of a marriage often has the power to develop into something quite harmful. In fact, many professionals urge greater awareness for and detection of the signs of clinical depression among those who go through a divorce.

Teens and Divorce

The impact of divorce on a teen can have a number of negative effects, ranging from feelings of abandonment to blaming themselves for the split of their parents. Some professionals make the analogy of a puzzle with missing parts, now the picture of the family the teen has known their whole life is suddenly incomplete. This can lead to confusion and sadness that, if left untreated, has the ability to develop into something quite harmful.

Although the numbers do not all reflect the impact of divorce, the incidents of teen depression have been on the rise since 2012. However, many believe increased cases of teen depression can often be traced back to some kind of major change in a teen’s life. The divorce of their parent certainly would qualify as a major life-changing event.

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