Life after Divorce: Dealing with Bad Memories during and after a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Married couples have a lifetime of happy memories from their time together. Divorced couples may have shared some good times together, but when a divorce appears on the horizon the good times often fade and one’s thoughts can be dominated by the memories that led up to or caused the divorce. Sometimes the weight of those bad memories can create problems that affect other areas of one’s life.

Coping Strategies

For people who feel overwhelmed by the bad memories of a failed marriage, simply telling oneself to stop dwelling on the past is not enough. Whether it is self-guilt over the divorce or the memories of words and actions by the ex-spouse, it can require more than willpower to stop reliving the past. Although not a complete list of strategies, the following are some tips that may help.

• Recognize when it is happening. Once you find yourself dwelling on the past, stop and take a few minutes to recognize the pattern. The sooner you realize what is happening, the faster you can take steps to focus on more productive thoughts.
• Try to come up with solutions. Constantly dwelling on your problems will not help them go away. Work on learning from past mistakes and look to find realistic answers.
• Schedule yourself some time to think. By setting aside 10 minutes each day for inner reflection you can limit the distractions that occur during the more productive parts of your day.
• Finding a distraction can help you refocus. Starting an exercise regiment or some other activity that requires you to channel your focus and energy can reduce the incidents of bad memories.
• Try living in the here and now. The self-discipline of meditation has been found to be quite helpful for some dealing with painful memories. Over time it can be quite helpful in reducing the time one spends dwelling on the past.

For the Best Results Retain the Counsel of an Experienced Aurora Divorce Lawyer

The emotional scars caused by divorce have the power to last a long time. Even an amicable divorce has been known to cause stress. Take steps toward reducing the mental and emotional impact your divorce has on you, work with a knowledgeable DuPage County divorce lawyer who understands what you are going through.  The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. provides valuable experience to guide you through even the most stressful periods of your divorce, in an effort to deliver a fair result that includes protecting your future. Contact our offices today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/family-law-attorney/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201602/5-ways-stop-reliving-painful-memories