What to Know About Divorce Before You Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Frequently it happens that following a divorce one might find him or herself, not necessarily regretting their divorce, but perhaps wishing they had known more about the life they are about to enter. There are a variety of resources to consult, but be careful of the information you obtain, and from who or where you receive it.

For Your Consideration

There are so many variables when it comes to divorce, and while there is no, all-knowing crystal ball, there is enough information and anecdotal data to provide people with a map of the obstacles to be faced. Provided here are some descriptions of divorced-life hurdles, gathered from those who have experienced divorce:

• How will the divorce affect your children, and, specifically, toddler-age children? Younger children have not yet developed the emotions or communication skills to effectively convey how the divorce is impacting them. Some have found success with “play therapy,” but there is no way to predict exactly how a divorce will affect them.

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Signs of a Successful Relationship

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

We generally use this space to provide readers with information about the various issues that surround divorce, the divorce process, child custody, asset division and other related matters. It is important that when one considers pursuing a divorce they have as much information as possible in order to make the best decision. This week we diverge slightly to take a closer look not at what causes divorce, but rather some of the signs that a relationship may last the duration.

Strong Relationship Building Blocks

Consider these opinions of what makes for a successful relationship when examining your own motives for getting married. It is difficult to measure up on all counts, but recognizing a few of these in your own life could be a good sign:

• Being together for the right reasons; partners share a deep, genuine admiration for each other. Getting married because you do not want to be single is not a good reason to enter into a relationship.

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Things About Divorce Only Divorced People Know

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

There are a lot of people out there who claim to be experts on a wide variety of matters. The truth is that more times than not, the most knowledgeable person on any issue is the one who has lived the experience. This holds for divorce, as there are certain things about ending your marriage and living as a divorced adult that only those who preceded you really understand.

Been There, Done That

It is no secret that even just considering a divorce is something that weighs heavily on one’s mind, as the lasting implications affect more than just the married couple and more than just the immediate household. Here is a list of issues that come with a divorce, from those who went through the process:

• You will feel happy. This is true. It may seem odd now, but you will experience some amount of joy in your life despite the devastating effects of divorce.

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Predicting Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

There are some people who like to say that they saw a divorce “coming from a mile away,” but the reality is that predicting the end of a marriage is not like picking a winner at the track. However, there are some who study marriage and divorce and seem to think that, like predicting the weather or the outcomes of sporting events, there definitely are some signs or indications that some marriages are more doomed to fail than others.

What Divorced Couples Have in Common

Just as most Super Bowl championship teams have a great defense or a game-changing playmaker, or World Series champs have great pitching and reliable defense, some social scientists have come to the conclusion that divorce couples also share certain aspects. While nothing is 100 percent certain, there is some credibility to their findings.

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Telling Children about Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:

• Keep your own emotions in check when telling your children about the divorce. This will put you in a good frame of mind when discussing the matter with the kids.

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Reasons for Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

The reasons people divorce, as well as those why they marry, are sometimes difficult to put into words. Sometimes the cause is easy to pinpoint, whether infidelity, incompatibility or even abuse, but frequently one or both spouses discover some innate feeling that only makes sense to that person. Whether others believe you or not, when you decide that divorce is the right decision the reasons may only make sense to you.

Rarely Discussed Reasons for Divorce

As mentioned above, there are some pretty common and overt reasons why marriages fail. When one or both spouses cheat, partake in an extramarital affair, or place other things, such as work or time with friends, ahead of the marriage it often signals the end of that relationship. However, presented here are some common reasons people choose to divorce that, although common, rarely receive the attention they deserve.

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Illinois Divorce Laws

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

When it comes to divorce, the laws pertaining to alimony, asset, and property division, child custody and support and other related issues can vary from state to state. The differences between one state and the other might be enough for some to take their divorce on a road trip.

Facts About Divorce in Illinois

While divorce laws tend to vary from state to state, it is important to know the laws that oversee such matters here in Illinois. Here is a quick summary of some of the basics.

• Illinois requires residency for at least three months (90 days) in order to file for divorce in that state.
• Illinois is both a “fault” and “no-fault” divorce state. This means couples may pursue divorce under either category.
• Illinois requires couples to make use of a mediator when working out issues related to child custody.

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Determining Paternity for Child Custody

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

When a child custody decision must be made by the court, one of the first jobs is to determine who is and is not a legal parent. A few years ago, the Illinois legislature completed a massive rewrite of the Illinois Parentage Act to better clarify who in a relationship has a parental claim to any children that are part of the union in question.

What the Courts Look At

While the courts and child advocate representatives are required to make decisions based on what is in the best interests of the children in question, other factors may impact who is awarded custody and who earns child visitation rights once a relationship has ended. This is where stipulations set forth in the Illinois Parentage Act spell out that which is to be considered. In the case of determining a relationship between a child and a woman claiming to be the mother, the following scenarios are considered:

• The woman gave birth to the child, EXCEPT in cases that involve a valid contract of surrogacy.

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Signs Your Marriage May Be Headed for Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

It is not uncommon for a person to say that they were taken by complete surprise when served with divorce papers. When one spouse does not recognize the signs that their marriage is in trouble it often results in great emotional hardship. However, if you are paying attention, there are some signs that are not too hard to miss.

What to Watch For

Now, just because some appears on the list below does not necessarily mean your marriage is headed for divorce. In fact, if caught early enough, many problems or points of contention between couples can be worked out through counseling. However, both spouses must be willing to put their full energy into correcting any problems and committed to ensuring they do not reappear in the future.

• When a spouse is overly judgmental, criticizing every little thing about their partner, it can lead to problems. Spouses need to accept each other for who they are because constant criticism is rarely an effective means for change.

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Tales of the Strange Reasons for Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Spousal Support

The reasons couples get divorced vary from the very common to quite unique. In some cases, tales of the odd and downright unbelievable accompany court filings. Whether they are true or just some ploy to gain sympathy from the court in an effort to win more a more favorable alimony settlement, there are anecdotes of some very bizarre reasons why individuals have sought a divorce from their spouse.

Examining Some of The Most Bizarre

Infidelity, abuse, chemical dependency, mental illness and even irreconcilable differences are probably some of the most commonly applied reasons for divorce, Here, however, we are taking a look at some of the strangest reasons people filed for divorce from around the world.

• My wife is possessed: Not possessive, but rather possessed … as in, by an evil spirit or the devil. An Italian man used this as his grounds for seeking a no-fault divorce. He even supplied witnesses to his wife’s odd behavior. In the end, he got his divorce.

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