Strategies to Get Through a High-Conflict Divorce

 Posted on November 12, 2024 in Divorce

Virtually every couple has some level of conflict during a divorce. After all, there was likely conflict that led up to the divorce and the emotions and stresses of a divorce can escalate conflict. Couples argue about a myriad of issues, some important and some not as important. Either way, the arguments can be fierce, whether a couple is arguing about the allocation of parental responsibility or who should get the garden gnome in the front yard.

A high-conflict divorce seems destined to never, ever allow an agreement between the spouses without a full-blown argument preceding it. If you are facing off against a high-conflict spouse, you already have some experience dealing with him or her from your marriage. Or, perhaps you never really learned to deal with the tactics employed by your spouse, finding yourself responding in the same manner.

If you are in the middle of a high-conflict divorce, first discuss the issue with your Batavia, IL divorce lawyer from The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.. Attorney Matthew M. Williams is passionate about helping his clients face divorce and other family law matters, no matter how complex your specific circumstances may be.

How Can You Get Through Your High-Conflict Divorce?

If your goal is to get through your divorce in the fastest, easiest way possible, while still ensuring your share of the assets and determinations regarding the allocation of parental responsibilities is fair and your future is protected. Some strategies you can employ that will allow you to get through your divorce with the least emotional bumps and bruises possible include:

• If you have children, consider using a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard, to ensure each interaction with your ex is fully documented.
• When your ex is doing his or her best to provoke you, do whatever it takes not to respond in kind, especially with emotional language.
•  Whenever possible, keep your interactions with your spouse as brief as possible, focusing only on information that is necessary to the completion of your divorce.
• Whenever possible, use written communications like texts and emails to ensure you have a "paper trail."
• Keep a detailed journal of every interaction, incident, and conflict with your spouse.
• If your spouse consistently violates court orders or agreements, make sure those violations are documented.
• Have all necessary financial information and records on hand before filing for divorce so these documents do not "mysteriously" disappear.
• Consider alternative dispute resolution options like mediation or collaborative divorce.
• If there are disputes regarding the children, consider using a parenting coordinator.

Practice Self-Care During a High-Conflict Divorce

It is necessary to take care of yourself during a high-conflict divorce. Manage the stress of the divorce and the stress your spouse is creating by prioritizing your well-being. Spend an afternoon engaging in an activity that you enjoy. Seek support from friends, family, and professionals, and do your best to focus on the things you can control. Work on regulating your own emotions and practice in your mind how you will respond calmly when your spouse spews lies and does his or her best to derail the divorce process.

If you have children, you could be dealing with your spouse for a very long time. Learn how to set boundaries and make your interactions only about the children. Set some achievable short and long-term goals for yourself, and work hard to obtain financial stability so you are not dealing with lack of money as well as an argumentative spouse.

Contact a Kane County, IL Divorce Attorney

High-conflict divorces may include repeated litigation throughout the years while bringing about intense emotions, including fear, anger, and a sense of powerlessness. The impact of a high-conflict divorce on children is even worse. When you have an Aurora, IL divorce lawyer from The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. by your side, you have a strong legal advocate who will always fight for your future.

Attorney Matthew M. Williams focuses his practice on mediation and collaborative divorce to help reduce costs and make the process less antagonistic. Call 630-409-8184 today to set up an initial consultation with an attorney.