Considering Divorce? Proceed with Care

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Just as the decision to get married is not always easy, the decision to divorce can be even more difficult. After all, the marriage was supposed to last forever. Therefore, before making a final decision to retain a lawyer and file for divorce it is important to consider all the consequences that may result.

Things to Consider

When one partner begins mulling exit strategies it can place added strain on the relationship, even without knowing it is happening. Before proceeding with a divorce take time to review some very important elements of the marriage and the divorce process

• Is a trial separation in order? Perhaps there is a way to rebuild the relationship while living apart, but still maintaining contact to work on your issues
• What were your expectations of marriage? Were they realistic? Perhaps by walking back some of these, you can save the relationship.

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Careers That Have Highest Divorce Rates

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce Rate

It is probably a safe bet to say that everyone who marries thinks that union will last forever. Why else would they bother? However, divorce is a fact of life, and there are a number of factors that play a part in the erosion and eventual dissolution of a marriage. Stress on a marriage comes from many sources, and a person’s job is among them.

Are You Working Toward a Divorce?

It has become known that workers in some industries experience divorce at higher rates than those in others. Whether it is the long hours, required travel or stress of the job that carries over to the homelife, the career someone chooses could impact the length of their marriage. Here’s a partial list of those lines of work that tend to experience higher than normal divorce rates.

The duties and responsibilities of first-line enlisted military supervisors place an unusual strain on a marriage. The added stress of deployment often adds to the unusually high rate of divorce among those in these roles.

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Signs Your Spouse May Be Cheating

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Perhaps if there were a way to know for sure your spouse-to-be would end up cheating, the incident of divorces caused by infidelity would decrease dramatically. While no one can know for sure who will and will not cheat, some believe there are traits and characteristics common among those who stray from their spouse.

Consider Certain Personality Traits

While there is no such thing as a crystal ball to help determine the future of your marriage, perhaps there are some things about potential suitors you should consider before jumping into something long term. Provided below is a list and brief description of some characteristics that should send up a red flag or, at the very least, give you cause to pause before saying, “I do.”

• Narcissism, or an unnatural attraction to one’s own body, typically signals that a person is more concerned with their own needs and wants than those of others. They care about fulfilling their own desires and have little concern for the well-being of those around them.

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Who Gets the Pets in Divorce?

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Division of Property

As a couple goes through divorce negotiations and subsequent court proceedings many decisions are made as to who gets what, and how much they get. These decisions involve the house, children, savings and investments and other marital assets. Another decision that often results in much emotion is resolving the eventual resident of the family pet.

New Law Now in Effect

Previously, pets were treated as furniture or other inanimate possessions in divorce negotiations over marital property division. However, as of the start of 2018 in Illinois, a new law now gives a judge the right to determine if one spouse would be a better pet owner than the other. The individual who takes on more of the responsibility for pet care during the marriage now has a better chance of retaining ownership after the divorce.  Things to consider include:

• Who purchases the pet food and other care items.

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Stages of Recovery after Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

Although most studies show that divorces occur most frequently during the first 10 years of a marriage, even couples who were married 25 years and longer may still find their relationship ending while seated across the table from one another in a lawyer’s office. Regardless of the circumstances, recovering from a divorce often requires time and understanding.

Recovering from a Divorce Is a Process

The emotional attachment to one’s spouse is a strong thing, and not easily dismissed. It is not surprising that those who go through a divorce may experience a period similar to that of grieving the loss of a loved one during the months after a divorce is final.

Denial

This typically occurs in the person who did not initiate the divorce. They do not want to believe that the person they love no longer wants to spend the rest of their life with them. A person in denial may harbor hopes for reconciliation, even when it is clear the marriage is over.

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Fighting Financial Threats during a Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Debt

Even if a person has spent hours considering their various options and weighing its impact on their future, the decision to divorce can still elicit heightened emotions of fear. Unfortunately, it happens that some spouses may attempt to influence how the other proceeds with the divorce by issuing threats that play upon those fears.

Responding to Threats

It is not unusual to want your divorce to end in a way that is mutually agreeable. It is even acceptable to think the final settlement should favor you if the marriage included some egregious acts by your spouse. However, when threats are issued it is important to respond in an appropriate and legally measured manner. Doing otherwise can result in negative repercussion and even severe sanctions. However, in most cases, the threats can be best categorized as empty bluster.

• “You’ll never get a dime unless you do this my way.” This just is not true. Community property states lay out exactly how marital assets are divided. In other states, a judge has the final say.

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Addiction and Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Most married couples will tell you that the relationship is fraught with hurdles and tough decisions. When outside influences weigh on the relationship it can have a negative impact on the union. An addiction can be most damaging, even to the point of resulting in an annulment or divorce.

Addiction and Marriage Is Not a Great Pairing

The horror stories of those who were married to an addict, in addition to the experiences of those who fought their addiction, should be enough to scare most individuals. However, the reality is that addictions impact thousands of marriages every year and, even heroic efforts at recovery and reconciliation by both parties many times are not enough to save a marriage.

• Whether drugs, alcohol, gambling or some other vice, an addiction is usually accompanied by such behaviors as lying, cheating, and stealing; behaviors not conducive to a healthy marriage.

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Breaking the News About Your Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

After making the decision to end your marriage, the decision on how best to break the news of a divorce to children, family and friends can weigh heavily on a person. In a time like this, one is hopeful that their announcement will be met with understanding and support, but you can expect to hear your share of blame and judgements.

Telling Family and Friends

Informing the people closest to you may require different strategies in order to present a clear message about the impending divorce.

Children: Be gentle when telling the children. Although children can be quite intuitive, they are also quite sensitive. Do not wait to tell them, and reassure them it is not their fault and they are still loved. Following up your words with the actions to back them up is very important.

Parents and In-laws: Adults, especially those who may have experienced a bad relationship, may pick up on the signs or other vibes that your marriage is in trouble. Perhaps consider prepping them with some hints so the news, even though they may already suspect, does not hit them like a bombshell.

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Violating a Custody Agreement

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

The impact of a divorce on children can have strong and lasting effects, impacting the education, social life, and emotional well being. It is for these and other reasons great care is taken to create a custody agreement that is best for the children. However, violating a custody agreement, even in the slightest way, can alter the terms of that agreement and negatively affect your relationship with the children and your ex-spouse.

What Should You Do?

You agree to a custody arrangement and think everything is fine. Then, when it comes time to make a lawful visit, your ex-spouse throws up roadblocks or prevents the visit completely. The steps you should take next are not always clear.

• Some say you should call the police, but some officers will tell you to take up the matter with the court. Others may be more sympathetic and attempt to intervene and accompany you to your schedule visitation in order to ensure the other parent fully complies.

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Establishing Guardianship for Your Children

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Guardianship

The idea of leaving your children parentless due to a tragic illness or accident is not a thought on which many like to dwell. However, taking necessary steps now to establish a clear and legal guardianship plan for your children can provide a measure of relief knowing you have prepared for their safekeeping.

What to Do, How to Do It

Preparing for the care of your children in the event of your death can be an easy process if one adheres to established laws and procedures. Ensuring your guardianship plan passes legal muster will prevent others from contesting guardianship, and wresting away custody of your children from those who you want to raise your kids. Before you get started, however, you probably have some questions:

• What exactly is a guardian? A good place to start. Technically speaking, a guardian is the person, agency, or organization ordered the courts to oversee the well-being of another. Most parents, in planning for guardianship of their children, select a loved and trusted family member.

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