Recent Blog Posts
Children and Divorce: How Different Age Groups React to Separation
There is no one answer for how children of any age will react to their parents’ divorce, but there are common reactions that have been observed in children of different age groups. These common reactions can give you things to look for in your children when you are going through a divorce and can help you plan how to deal with these reactions.Infants (Ages 0 to 18 Months): At this time in their lives, the child knows only the love that their parents give them by holding them and spending time with them. A divorce can impact the amount of time that a parent spends with the child, which can have negative effects on the baby. Infants can sense a lot more tension in the home than you think they can. Possible reactions to the tension can be:
- Nervousness around new people;
Tips to Make Your Divorce as Painless as Possible
There is no way around it - getting a divorce will be difficult at times, stressful during the divorce proceedings and emotionally demanding during most of the process. A divorce is the legal separation of you and your spouse, but it goes much deeper than that - divorce is also the emotional separation of you and your spouse and the end of your relationship. It is only normal for you to go through a mourning period, but there are things that you can do to make your divorce go as smoothly as possible, ultimately saving you a lot of pain and distress.
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Think of Your Divorce as a Business Transaction
Though it will be difficult, emotionally distancing yourself from your relationship will help you immensely. Marriage is just a legal contract that you entered into with your spouse - now you are getting out of that contract, which is the divorce. Try to treat the process like you would treat a severing of a business relationship - your heart will thank you.
Modifying Parenting Plans for Parental and Child Relocation
There could be many reasons why you would want to petition to move out of the area with your child after a divorce - you could be moving for your job, to be closer to family or maybe you just want a change of scenery. Whatever the reason is, as long as you have the majority of parenting time or equal parenting time allocated to you, you can petition to relocate with your child. Typically, relocating with your child requires a change in your existing parenting plan. Though the process to make the change in your parenting plan can be stressful and time-consuming, it is not impossible.
Steps You Must Take
In Illinois, there typically must be a significant change in circumstances before you can change your parenting plan. A relocation constitutes a significant change. If you plan on relocating with your child, you are required to submit a written notice of relocation to your child’s other parent within 60 days of relocating. If you do not provide notice, the court can use that as a factor in considering whether or not the relocation is in good faith.
Signs Your Spouse Might Be Hiding Assets from You
It is extremely important to understand your financial situation, especially if you are getting a divorce. It is not uncommon for people to try to keep certain assets from their spouses when it comes to dividing them during a divorce. Unfortunately, nearly 15 million Americans reported that they have at least one bank account or credit card account that their live-in partner does not know about. Though you may think it is difficult to figure out if your spouse is hiding assets from you, it can become obvious if you know what you are looking for. Here are five signs that your spouse may be hiding something:
You Notice an Increase in Transactions on Your Bank Statements
You should know your spouse’s spending habits better than anyone. If you notice unusual transactions or purchases, it could be a sign that he or she is trying to cover their trail. An increase in large purchases, such as cars, artwork or jewelry could be a sign that your spouse is trying to convert their cash to physical assets. Unusual ATM transactions could be a sign that your spouse is moving money from a joint account to a secret account.
Children and the Effect of Divorce
Traditionally, divorce has been frowned upon, especially if a couple has children. It was thought that children were better off growing up in a family where their parents were married. But staying in an unhappy marriage can mean a life of misery for you and can actually be detrimental to your children. Though “staying together for the kids” was once seen as an act of decency, it is now seen as an act of ignorance because children pick up on familial tension far more than some adults realize. That tension can manifest itself in many different ways in children, none of them being favorable. Here are four ways staying in a bad marriage could affect your children:
Chronic Stress
Sure, your kids might not know exactly why you and your spouse are fighting, but they can pick up on the tension that the fighting creates, which can lead to stress. Children look up to both of their parents and when they are both fighting constantly, they feel tense around them, rather than relaxed. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as depression and chronic fatigue.
Benefits of Collaborative Divorce in Illinois
When you think of divorce, you might think of litigation in a courtroom with a judge handing down decisions, or a couple in a lawyer’s office arguing with each other, voices raised, about who gets to keep the family home. While popular culture would lead you to believe this is how divorce is, in reality, it does not have to be that way. When you think of getting a divorce, you do not have to go the traditional litigated route - you have options. One of those options is to go with a collaborative divorce, or one in which you both work together to settle your disputes outside of the courtroom. This has turned out to be beneficial for many couples for many reasons. Here are a couple of reasons why you should consider going with a collaborative divorce:
The Process Can Be More Affordable
Because you are settling issues in various meetings, rather than in the courtroom, you are not having to pay court costs and fees every time you try to settle something. Rather, you can make it a point to come to a decision about certain things during each meeting, cutting down on the number of meetings you will actually need to have.
Exploring Ways to Cope with Emotions During and After a Divorce
Though you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.
Take Care of Yourself
FAQs About Parenting Time and Responsibilities in Illinois
Among all of the things that you must take care of when you are going through a divorce is your children. In Illinois, you are required to create a parenting plan that outlines parenting time, parental responsibilities, where the child spends certain holidays and when the child will be moving between homes. Illinois courts prefer you and your ex-spouse to come to an agreement before you go to court, but in the event that you cannot, the court will decide your parenting plan in a proceeding.
This realm of divorce can be confusing because Illinois has adopted the terms “parenting time” in place of “physical custody” and “parental responsibilities” in place of “legal custody.” Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about parenting plans in Illinois:
How Is Parenting Time Determined?
In Illinois, parenting time is urged to be decided by the parents of the child, but if the parents cannot come to an agreement, the court will intervene and make decisions about parenting time that are in the child’s best interest. The court will examine a variety of factors when making a determination, including:
Divorce Myths and the Realities Behind Them
When it comes to divorce, there can be a lot of confusion around how it works, the legalities of it and how it affects you in the long run. Some of this confusion can be attributed to the difference in laws between states, some can be contributed to the portrayal of divorce in movies and television, but much of the confusion surrounding divorce is because no two divorces are the same. Stories that you hear about other people and their divorces can be misleading because much like people, no two divorces are the same. Allowing yourself to be consumed by divorce myths can be detrimental to your divorce success. Here are four common divorce myths and the realities behind them.
If You Cheat, You Will Suffer in the Divorce
The notion that adulterers lose in a divorce is an antiquated one. While cheating brings about many types of issues and can be emotionally damaging, Illinois does not recognize cheating as grounds for making decisions about divorce-related matters. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act states that one of the purposes of the Act was to “eliminate the consideration of marital misconduct in the adjudication of rights and duties incident to dissolution of marriage.”
Illinois Prenuptial Agreements
Although it may have never crossed your mind, prenuptial agreements can be beneficial for many people - not just those who are wealthy. Prenuptial agreements are legal contracts that couples sign before they are married that can hash out the details of things like property division or spousal support in the event that the couple was to ever get divorced. Each state has its own laws pertaining to prenuptial agreements and agreements in Illinois are subject to the Illinois Uniform Premarital Agreement Act. The Act dictates everything from how prenuptial agreements must be constructed, to what can and cannot be included in prenuptial agreements. As with most things in the legal world, prenuptial agreements can become tricky, but here are four things that you should know before committing to a prenuptial agreement.