Children and the Effect of Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Children of divorce

Traditionally, divorce has been frowned upon, especially if a couple has children. It was thought that children were better off growing up in a family where their parents were married. But staying in an unhappy marriage can mean a life of misery for you and can actually be detrimental to your children. Though “staying together for the kids” was once seen as an act of decency, it is now seen as an act of ignorance because children pick up on familial tension far more than some adults realize. That tension can manifest itself in many different ways in children, none of them being favorable. Here are four ways staying in a bad marriage could affect your children:

Chronic Stress

Sure, your kids might not know exactly why you and your spouse are fighting, but they can pick up on the tension that the fighting creates, which can lead to stress. Children look up to both of their parents and when they are both fighting constantly, they feel tense around them, rather than relaxed. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as depression and chronic fatigue.

Mood or Behavioral Problems

Often, if there are problems in the home, children will act out as a way of expressing themselves, because they often do not know any other way. Constant stress and tension in the home can lead to mood or behavioral problems that can stick with your child for years.

Fear of Intimacy

Children learn by example. If the only example they have seen of an intimate relationship is one of constant fighting and yelling with no love between them, they will learn to accept that as normal. For children who grow up in homes with warring parents, they learn to associate intimacy with dysfunction. They tend to have an aversion to intimate relationships and when they are in one, they tend to remain cautious or run at the first sign of conflict.

Low Self-Esteem

Children who grow up in homes with unhappy parents have also been observed to have low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. Children often internalize their parents' conflict, wondering if it was their fault that their parents are so unhappy or fighting all the time. Such an internalization can be damaging to children and can cause them to have trust issues later in life.

An Experienced DuPage County Divorce Lawyer Can Help

If you are wondering if a divorce could be better for your family than staying in your unhappy marriage, you should contact an Aurora divorce attorney who has extensive experience, like the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. Our office has decades of experience helping couples complete their divorces and we have seen firsthand how it can bring peace to a family. To schedule a consultation with us, call the office at 630-409-8184.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/family-law-attorney/when-kids-call-the-shots/201703/why-bad-marriages-are-worse-kids-divorce

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/7-ways-you-can-damage-your-kids-by-staying-in-a-bad-marriage_us_573b4845e4b0646cbeeaf9a9