Dealing With False Accusations of Domestic Violence

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Domestic Violence

False accusations of domestic violence are, sadly, all too common in family law cases. Such allegations are problematic for a number of reasons. First, they undermine legitimate efforts by organizations throughout the country to prevent and eliminate the very real problem of domestic abuse that occurs in many families. Of course, false accusations also create serious issues for the person who has been accused. If that person is you, it is important to understand what you can do in family court to defend yourself.

Protective Orders and Temporary Restraining Orders

Victims and purported victims of domestic violence in Illinois are able to apply for an emergency protective order or a temporary restraining order without any advance notice to the alleged abuser. If the court finds that the victim is currently in danger and immediate action is required to keep him or her safe, an order of protection will be issued. Once the order is issued, a law enforcement officer will serve a copy of the order on the alleged abuser.

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Why Are Older Couples Divorcing More?

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Gray Divorce

While the divorce rate seems to be leveling out for most age groups, there is one in particular in which divorce is more common than ever. Depending upon your perspective, it may come as a surprise to learn that the divorce rate among people age 50 and older today is twice what it was a quarter-century ago. For the 65 and older age group, the rate of divorce has more than doubled. During the same period, the divorce rate for virtually every other age group has remained the same or has fallen. So what is causing the increase in older divorce, or, as some call it, gray divorce? While the explanation is probably not to be found in just a single factor, there are a number of things that may be playing a role.

Not the First Time

One of the contributing factors to increase in gray divorce is the idea that second marriages among all age groups fail at a much higher rate than first marriages, and third or subsequent marriages even more so. Just based on pure probability, and with remarriage rates at record-highs, more and more older Americans are in the midst of a second or third marriages, making them at least two and a half times more likely to experience a divorce.

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Gray Divorce: When Senior Citizens Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Gray Divorce

Most people probably think a divorce occurs after a couple of years of marriage, or while the spouses are still relatively young. While that may have been true during the 1970s and 1980s, a new phenomenon has developed as more and more adults over the age of 50 are now taking steps to end their marriages later in life.

Why Is “Gray Divorce” Happening Now?

The idea of grandpa and grandma going through divorce is now more common than ever. While that is an image many find difficult to comprehend, the fact remains that more and more seniors are divorcing now than ever before.

• Older adults divorcing now are members of the baby boomer generation and tend to believe in the pursuit of happiness, even at the expense of ending a long marriage.
• Baby boomers who divorced in the 1970s and 1980s frequently remarried. The rate of divorce among those in a second or third marriage is higher than among those in a first marriage.

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Key Things to Consider During a Gray Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Gray Divorce

A “gray divorce” is a fairly new term that people have been using when referring to those who get divorced in late adulthood. A divorce is considered a gray divorce when the couple who is getting divorced is over the age of 50. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for Americans over the age of 50 has doubled since 1990 and for Americans over the age of 65, the divorce rate has tripled. Older Americans have seen an increase in divorce rates while younger Americans between the ages of 25 and 39 have actually seen a decrease in the divorce rate, by about 20 percent. Typically, couples getting a gray divorce have been married for decades, which is why they face a lot of negative stigmas and backlash from those surrounding them. They also face unique circumstances when it comes to divorce, which is why specific considerations should be made. You Will Probably Be Entitled to Spousal Support

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Building a New Life after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

It is not uncommon for those who just experienced the emotional and mental stress of a divorce to feel a little distrustful and jaded. After all, that union that was supposed to last a lifetime ended, for whatever reason, prematurely and now you are left to rebuild what is left of your life. Well, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there is life after a divorce.

The Recovery Process

Much like a person dealing with the death of a loved one, there is a process for those emerging from a divorce. Consider applying these tips to your post-divorce life to help you move on to a new phase in your life.

• Allow yourself to mourn. It is okay to feel grief following a divorce or even remorse, but don’t dwell on it. Make room for those feelings, deal with them and make plans to move forward.
• As a way to help you deal with your feelings, sometimes talking with a professional is helpful. Working through your post-divorce emotions prevents them from polluting the next phase of your life.

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Divorce and Depression

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When something you thought would last forever suddenly ends it is not uncommon to feel a sense of loss or even fall into depression. Divorce can be like that. Even if you saw knew a divorce was coming, when it is all over the experience can still exact an emotional toll.

The Stages of Loss

Not unlike the stages one might experience dealing with the death of a loved one, the stages an individual can go through following a divorce are no less real. You may not necessarily experience all five, but knowing what to expect can help you cope:

• Denial and isolation: in the face of overwhelming emotion, a newly-divorced person may seek isolation to deal with the situation.
• Anger: Misdirected anger can be harmful so finding a healthy outlet is important.
• Bargaining: You might start second-guessing the divorce or dwelling on things you might have done differently.

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Dating after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

After going through the stress and expense of a divorce, the last thing on the mind of many adults is getting into a new relationship. However, for some divorced spouses, the desire to find a new partner is high on their list of things to do after getting out of a failed marriage. Just as no two divorces are alike, the reasons for getting into or avoiding a new relationship are just as varied.

Avoid Making the Same Mistakes

If you are intent on getting into a new relationship following your divorce, it may be important to take stock of the things that ended your marriage and strive to prevent those same issues from damaging future relationships. Other pitfalls to avoid include:

• Do not get in the habit of thinking all men (or women) are just like your ex-spouse. Sure, all men and all women share certain traits, but be honest with yourself and fair to potential suitors by giving others a chance to prove they can be a good partner.

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Dealing with Divorce at Work

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When going through or dealing with the aftermath of a divorce those affected may attempt to keep the other segments of their life as normal as possible. In many cases, this means trying to prevent the emotion and anxiety of the divorce from seeping into and impacting one’s work. It is not always easy, but maintaining a steady and consistent work environment can help a person get through their divorce.

Getting Through the Work Day

The stress of your marriage breaking up can have a negative effect on your work performance. You can do everything in your power to keep things on an even keel, but here are a few ideas to help you maintain good productivity at work.

1. Let your boss know what is happening. It would be okay to have a private conversation with your supervisor to let him or her know that is going on with your marriage. Ask for some flexibility when it comes to meeting with your attorney.

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Bad Divorce Advice

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When considering a divorce, or while you are going through this highly emotional and stressful experience, perhaps the last thing anyone wants to hear is a lot of advice about how to handle the whole process. A divorce is a very personal matter. It would be rare that any two divorces are exactly alike, so it is unlikely that advice from one will fit the needs of another.

Do What is Best for You

No one knows or understands your marriage experience better than you, so applying the advice of others to a very personal matter, such as a divorce, may prove to be quite counterproductive. Here is a sample of some advice that might be right for some, but could be considered quite bad depending on an individual’s circumstances. If you hear this advice from friends or family, proceed with caution.

• Separate as soon as possible and cut off all contact. Not only will this create an adversarial relationship with your spouse, but also could negatively impact your relationship with your children.

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Dividing Friends in Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When married couples divorce it is not uncommon for possessions accumulated during the marriage to become subject to division. In addition to cars, homes, accumulated wealth and even time with children, it may happen that even the friends you had during your marriage may suddenly no longer answer your phone calls.

Time for New Social Circles

Even those people who you thought were your best friends may no longer have time for you, or perhaps even took the side of your ex-spouse following a divorce. While that can be unsettling, this time in your life can become an opportunity for finding and making new friends. This will not always be easy, especially if your former spouse was the one in the relationship who initiated the friendships you maintained as a couple. However, now you have the chance to surround yourself with the type of people with whom you truly enjoy spending time.

• Take time to determine what it is you want to get out of a new friendship. Since you no longer have a spouse to consider, there may be an opportunity to get to know people with whom your ex-spouse might not have otherwise associated.

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