Life after Divorce: Dealing with Bad Memories during and after a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Married couples have a lifetime of happy memories from their time together. Divorced couples may have shared some good times together, but when a divorce appears on the horizon the good times often fade and one’s thoughts can be dominated by the memories that led up to or caused the divorce. Sometimes the weight of those bad memories can create problems that affect other areas of one’s life.

Coping Strategies

For people who feel overwhelmed by the bad memories of a failed marriage, simply telling oneself to stop dwelling on the past is not enough. Whether it is self-guilt over the divorce or the memories of words and actions by the ex-spouse, it can require more than willpower to stop reliving the past. Although not a complete list of strategies, the following are some tips that may help.

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Divorce and Depression

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

In addition to the financial repercussions of divorce, the emotional toll felt by both adults and children during and following the end of a marriage often has the power to develop into something quite harmful. In fact, many professionals urge greater awareness for and detection of the signs of clinical depression among those who go through a divorce.

Teens and Divorce

The impact of divorce on a teen can have a number of negative effects, ranging from feelings of abandonment to blaming themselves for the split of their parents. Some professionals make the analogy of a puzzle with missing parts, now the picture of the family the teen has known their whole life is suddenly incomplete. This can lead to confusion and sadness that, if left untreated, has the ability to develop into something quite harmful.

Although the numbers do not all reflect the impact of divorce, the incidents of teen depression have been on the rise since 2012. However, many believe increased cases of teen depression can often be traced back to some kind of major change in a teen’s life. The divorce of their parent certainly would qualify as a major life-changing event.

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Stages of Recovery after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Although most studies show that divorces occur most frequently during the first 10 years of a marriage, even couples who were married 25 years and longer may still find their relationship ending while seated across the table from one another in a lawyer’s office. Regardless of the circumstances, recovering from a divorce often requires time and understanding.

Recovering from a Divorce Is a Process

The emotional attachment to one’s spouse is a strong thing, and not easily dismissed. It is not surprising that those who go through a divorce may experience a period similar to that of grieving the loss of a loved one during the months after a divorce is final.

Denial

This typically occurs in the person who did not initiate the divorce. They do not want to believe that the person they love no longer wants to spend the rest of their life with them. A person in denial may harbor hopes for reconciliation, even when it is clear the marriage is over.

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Ways to Cope with Separation and Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

For many people, divorce is one of the most emotionally demanding and stressful situations they will go through. Not only do you have to deal with the long and demanding legal divorce process, but you also have to figure out how to cope with the fact that you are ending a major relationship in your life, which can bring about a myriad of emotions. In order to come out of the divorce right side up, you have to figure out how to cope with these emotions and work your way through this emotional process.

Allow Yourself to Grieve the Loss of the Relationship

If you are going through a divorce, one feeling you will probably come across is grief. Grief is a natural response to the loss of something, in this situation, the loss of your relationship. It is important that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with grief, such as anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. The sooner you can emotionally accept that the relationship is over, the sooner you can begin your process of self-healing.

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Exploring Ways to Cope with Emotions During and After a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Though you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.

Take Care of Yourself

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Dealing with the Emotional Impact of Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

No matter the length of the marriage and no matter the circumstances of the split, a divorce is always a difficult life event to get through. Even the most steadfast and strong person can experience the challenges that a divorce brings. Because of the all-encompassing nature of divorce, it can feel like your entire life is falling apart, especially right after your divorce is finalized. While you are most likely experiencing major changes after your divorce, it is important to realize that these changes are only temporarily distressing and with time, you will become happier and healthier. Here are a few tips as to how you can move on after your divorce:

Learn to Let Go of Your Negative Emotions

Though it will be difficult, you cannot health without first learning to let go of all of the negativity and stress that you have built up throughout your marriage and divorce. You may be experiencing feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness or despair, but they will do nothing but damage for you. You must learn to look past those emotions and understand that they do go away with time.

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Divorce and New Year’s Resolutions

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

We all know how most New Year’s resolutions work -- you come up with grandiose ideas about how you will change and be different, you follow them for about a month and then you go back to your same old routines. While keeping resolutions can be difficult, there is no better time to take a look at your life and do a little introspection and self-reflection than the beginning of a new year, especially if you are recently divorced or you are looking to begin the divorce process. Divorces can be messy and difficult, but keep these few New Year’s resolutions in mind and you could come out of your divorce on top. Let Go of Your Anger and Make a Point to Be Happy A divorce can cause you to feel many emotions, including anger, fury, contempt, and hate. It can be one of the hardest things to do, but once you let go of your anger, you will find that you will be much more relaxed and that it will be easier for you to be happy. Instead of taking your anger out on your ex, release your anger and forgive your ex for anything they might have done. It will be in your family’s best interest for you to move on. Focus on Improving Communication with Your Ex You have probably heard it many times before, but communication is key, especially when it comes to co-parenting. Being a single parent is tough, but being a single parent who has to coordinate with an ex who they do not get along with is even tougher. Your kids (and you) will have an easier time with custody transitions if you and your ex can communicate effectively. Make a Point to Spend Quality Time with Your Children Though you may have your kids a majority of the time or even the same amount of time as your ex, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Making time for your children is extremely important after a divorce because now every moment you spend with them is more precious than ever. Focus on your children and make sure that they feel loved and accepted -- more than they ever have before. Hire an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney to Help You Through Your Divorce

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How to Make Your Blended Family a Success

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

There was a time in the United State’s history when most families comprised of a mother, a father and their biological children. Now, the “typical” American family has become somewhat of a thing of the past. With more Americans remarrying and same-sex marriage being legalized throughout the country, the “typical” American family is not so predictable anymore. According to the United States Census Bureau, more than half of American families were divorced and remarried or recoupled in 2010. The Bureau also reported that nearly four million children were living in a blended family or stepfamily in 2010.

Blended families face their own unique challenges and can prove to be difficult for some children to adjust to. Here are a few tips you can use to help ensure the success of your blended family:

Plan Your New Family

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The Emotional Impact of Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Whether you are just starting the divorce process or you are in the middle of a months-long divorce, it’s no secret that it can be hard on everyone. For many people, the only information they have about divorce is what they have heard from family or friends who have gone through it, or what they have seen on TV or in movies. Divorce brings with it a slew of uncertainties that even the most planned out divorces can bring. The divorce process is different for everyone, but here are a few things you may not know about divorce: You Will Probably Experience the Grief Process Losing a relationship from your life is a lot like losing a person from your life. Many people going through a divorce find that the healing process is very similar to that of the grieving process -- though it is not so much of a surprise. It is only natural for you to grieve the loss of your relationship, but going through the grief process can help you move on with your life. Your Children Will Definitely Be Affected Many divorcing parents wonder if their divorce will affect their children. While the perfect answer would be no, the divorce will almost certainly affect your children, even younger ones. There is no way to tell how a child will react to news of a divorce, but as a parent, it is your job to make sure your child develops healthy coping mechanisms. A divorce does not mean your child will be emotionally scarred for life -- most children are usually happier after. It is Going to Cost You Money It has been said that the average wedding these days costs anywhere from $20,000 to $30,000. Sadly, you could end up spending that much on divorce, too. While there is no “average” cost for a divorce, they can become costly very quickly. The total cost of a divorce will depend on the type of divorce you are getting, where your life if you are using an attorney and how amicable you and your spouse are. All Divorces Were Not Created Equally Many people think the only way to get a divorce is to hire attorneys and fight it over in court. In reality, there are a handful of ways you can go about getting a divorce. You could go with a traditional litigated divorce, a mediated divorce, a collaborative divorce or even a do-it-yourself divorce. Each type has its own advantages and disadvantages, so it can be worth it to do your research before you begin the process. Consult with a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

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What is an Uncontested Divorce?

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Uncontested Divorce

Divorce does not have to be bitter and expensive. Many times a couple has the basic agreement worked out before the divorce is even filed. Under Illinois law, it is possible to fairly easily complete an uncontested divorce.

Advantages of Agreement

An uncontested divorce means that the two spouses have no remaining issues to put to rest. They may even file jointly for a divorce and ask the court to approve the agreement they have already worked out in negotiations.

The main advantages of an uncontested divorce are that the two sides save themselves time, frustration, and money by agreeing to everything early in the process. While both sides should have the help of a lawyer in drafting and reviewing any agreement, the fees will tend be much lower than in cases where there are multiple hearings and piles of court documents drafted.

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