Tips for Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce in Illinois

 Posted on December 00,0000 in DuPage County divorce lawyer

For some couples, the idea of a peaceful divorce is laughable. Divorce can bring out the worst in people and can cause them to do things and act in ways that are unlike themselves. In some situations, divorce can exacerbate a person’s behavior and cause him or her to become even more combative and argumentative, typically at no surprise to the soon-to-be ex-spouse. Emotions can get out of control during a divorce, making the entire process more difficult and stressful than it needs to be for everyone involved. If you know that your spouse will be combative during your divorce, there are a few things you can do to survive your high-conflict divorce:

Distance Yourself From Your Spouse

High-conflict people thrive off of arguments and getting a rise out of others. The best thing to do when you realize that your spouse is going to be antagonistic, manipulative, or argumentative during your divorce is to try to create as much distance between the two of you as possible. You should do this by minimizing contact with him or her unless you absolutely need to discuss an important matter. If you must communicate with each other, remember that it is not worth your time or effort to argue.

Record Everything You Can

A high-conflict spouse will often try to use your own words against you or manipulate you. If you have to talk with your spouse, you should try to do so via text or email. Both of those options give you the ability to have a transcript of exactly what was said during the conversation. If you have proof of what the exchange entailed, your spouse cannot twist it to benefit him or herself or try to lie about you saying something that you did not say.

Do Not Co-Parent; Parallel Parent

Perhaps one of the most difficult parts of dealing with a high-conflict divorce is when children are involved. Co-parenting with an agitated spouse can be nearly impossible. If you try to use the traditional co-parenting model with your combative spouse, chances are you will end up with more stress than is necessary, and your children may be negatively affected. The best way to parent with a combative spouse is to parallel parent. This means you will have to separate your parenting and focus on things you can control, like the rules and routines that you stick to when your children are with you.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

If you are planning on getting a divorce, and you know that your spouse is going to be difficult or that there will be a lot of disputes, you need the assistance of an Aurora, IL divorce attorney who knows how to deal with high-conflict divorces. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help guide you through your divorce proceedings, regardless of your spouse’s behavior. We will make sure that your interests are protected throughout the decision-making process. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/susan-valentine/high-conflict-divorce_b_4687175.html

https://esme.com/resources/divorce/getting-through-a-high-conflict-divorce

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-therapists-dont-tell_b_2622776