Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After Your Illinois Divorce

 Posted on February 19, 2020 in Children of divorce

Sharing children with another person is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but it can also make for some difficult situations. In particular, if you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, you will always be connected, since you are both still parents to your kids. Although this may be comforting to some, it can be intimidating for others, especially if you do not get along with your ex. It can be challenging to co-parent with your ex-spouse after a divorce, but it is crucial to do so for the sake of your children.

Things You Should Do

Achieving successful co-parenting with your spouse depends on how well you and your spouse are willing to work together and how committed you are to your children. To achieve successful co-parenting, you should:

• Be willing to communicate with your spouse. Communication is key to co-parenting. You should aim to keep the discussions ongoing between the two of you and encourage open conversations about your children.

• Set your feelings about your spouse aside. You may not be happy about the divorce or about how things worked out, but despite your feelings about your spouse, he or she is still the parent of your children. It is in your children's best interest for you to deal with your emotions privately and focus on being a better parent.

• Be committed to working as a team. Co-parenting is a lot more difficult when one parent refuses to cooperate with the other parent. You and your spouse should be committed to working together to raise your children.

• Have a plan in place for handling disagreements. Disputes are bound to happen when you are raising a child. Instead of allowing arguments to escalate to full-on conflicts, you should have some sort of a plan in place to help you and your spouse settle your differences of opinion, even if it involves including a mediator.

Things You Should Not Do

In addition to things that you should actively be doing, there are also certain things that you should avoid doing to facilitate a healthy co-parenting relationship. To maintain successful co-parenting, you should not:

• Put your children in the middle. When it comes to disagreements, you should keep the arguments between the grownups. Do not use your children as pawns in an effort to get what you want or make the kids choose sides.

• Speak negatively about your ex to your children. It does not matter how angry you may be at your ex -- do not share these bitter feelings with your children. They deserve to have a relationship with their other parent that is independent of your thoughts about him or her.

• Leave your ex out of important decisions. Part of successful co-parenting is effective communication. Keeping your ex out of the loop when it comes to major decisions concerning your child is simply unfair and a surefire way to incite arguments.

Contact a Batavia Divorce Attorney

If you and your spouse are thinking of getting a divorce, you may be wondering how successful co-parenting is achieved. For the most part, productive co-parenting involves a high level of communication and collaboration between you and your spouse. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you come up with a parenting plan that fits your needs while keeping your children’s best interests in mind. Call our skilled Kane County parenting time lawyers today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.afccnet.org/Portals/0/PDF/AzAFCC%20Coparenting%20Communication%20Guide.pdf

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a28089403/co-parenting-tips/