Are You Sure You Want a Divorce?

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

Over the last several decades, American society has become much more accepting of divorce than in previous generations. In fact, one could even argue that it has become too accepted. Many of us now speak of divorce very casually, as if it that is something that happens to just about everyone. The reality is much more painful, however, when you are facing the possibility of your own divorce. It is no longer something that happens all the time; it is a major life event that can have long-term effects on your future and that of your children. If you are considering a divorce, you owe it to yourself, your children, and your spouse to be absolutely certain that you are making the right choice.

The Healing Process

For many individuals faced with a likely divorce, they begin to move on as soon as the process begins. If you definitively tell your spouse that you want a divorce, there is no taking it back. You may change your mind, but if you do, your spouse’s ability to trust your word may be greatly diminished going forward. Do not say you want a divorce until you know it is true. This way, you and your spouse can begin to heal in your own ways, even as the proceedings are ongoing.

Remember the Love

In reality, very few divorces are the result of two spouses growing to actively hate one another. You and your spouse may have grown apart, but you probably do not wish harm on him or her. Wavering on your decision about divorce, or intentionally delaying the process if he or she takes the first steps can create uncertainty, which can easily develop into hostility between you. As you move along in proceedings, try to remember that, deep down, you probably still love your spouse, even if you can no longer remain married. This can help keep you grounded and focused on the task at hand.

Your Children

If you have children, they are going to be affected by your decision to divorce; there is no getting around it. While older children may sense that something is wrong between you and your spouse, you should not include them in discussions about whether or not to divorce. Children are not equipped to handle such burden, and it is unfair to place them in the middle. Instead, wait to talk to your children until you have made a final decision to divorce and do so together with your spouse if possible.

Call an Attorney

Before you make the irreversible decision to end your marriage, speak to an experienced DuPage County divorce lawyer about your options. Call 630-409-8184 for a confidential consultation at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/22/7-steps-divorce_n_4827319.html