3 Tips for Speaking With a Child About Divorce

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Children of divorce

Divorce is a relatively common occurrence in modern America. In fact, some school districts comprise more divorced couples than married ones.

Still, the normality of an ending marriage does not lessen the burden on children, especially when there are disagreements regarding child custody. As a parent, it is tough to know how to approach communicating with your child about divorce. If handled improperly, the process of divorce can severely impact a child’s well-being.

The American Sociological Review reports that approximately 50 percent of children will experience a divorce. In fact, as remarriage rates continue to increase, 25 percent of these children will undergo at least two divorces.

Although divorce can be a traumatic, emotionally trying experience for children, there are ways to ease the burden by helping the child make a healthy adjustment to the new family arrangement. This article will introduce three tips that can help prepare parents to discuss the divorce with their children.

1. Approach the Discussion From the Perspective of the Child

Breaking the news about a divorce will most likely devastate your children, and this emotional reaction makes it difficult for them to grasp the reasoning behind the split. This, unfortunately, can lead children to assume the breakup is their fault.

Many parents become caught up in the anger and resent that often accompany divorce, and as a result, they may criticize spouses in front of children. This only makes the situation more difficult for the child. For example, saying the other parent was never around to help raise the child will likely make the child feel some level of guilt about the divorce.

2. Expect Ongoing Discussions About the Divorce

It takes time for children to digest the news. As a result, they may have many concerns or questions during the weeks after they learn about the situation.

Often, children raise the same concerns repetitively. It’s important that you do not dismiss those concerns and, instead, accept that this repetition highlights the extent of the issue, meaning it requires more attention and compassion.

3. Develop a Support Network

While many divorcing couples want the matter to remain private, it is wise to share the news with other people in your child’s life. Teachers, friends and other family members can provide a support network that may prove invaluable during this process.

If you are divorcing in Aurora, Illinois, or the surrounding area, we can help. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., our DuPage County divorce lawyers offer comprehensive and compassionate guidance for separating couples. We can walk you through the important aspects of child custody, child support and other factors that could play a role in your separation. To schedule a consultation, please call our office at 630-409-8184.