Does Practice Make Perfect when Remarrying?

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in DuPage County divorce lawyer

“If at first you do not succeed, try, try again.”

While this may be good advice for most things in life, it does not seem to be good advice for those who divorce. The divorce rate for second and third marriages is even more dismal than it is for first marriages. In fact, 67 percent of second marriages fail, and for those that go onto a third marriage, 75 percent can expect to make another trip to divorce court.

There are several theories why subsequent marriages fail. One theory is family dynamics. Often both spouses have children from prior relationships and suddenly there is one big blended family of stepparents and stepchildren. Personality differences and different parenting styles can lead to all types of conflicts. The sense of “family” that often holds first marriages together just does not exist in second and third marriages. Some psychologists also believe that it is easier for couples who have already gone through the breakup of a marriage to walk away from another marriage if they are not happy. They know they can “survive” a divorce, and therefore are not willing to stay in a marriage that is not working for them. One of the most popular theories why subsequent marriages fail is that people get remarried when they still have not completely recovered from their prior marriage. They do not allow themselves to heal or really think about what they want in the future. This is referred to as the “rebound marriage” phenomenon. Conducted research shows that people who marry within one year of a divorce have a very low chance of a lasting new marriage. For someone considering remarriage, there are a few key questions to ask. These include the following:

1. Have you allowed yourself enough time to “grieve” your last marriage?

2. What is the real reason you want to remarry? Is it primarily because of financial security?

3. Are you remarrying because you don’t like to be alone or are lonely?

4. How do your children feel about your new spouse-to-be? If there is already conflict, chances are that will not change, but instead will worsen, after the wedding.

Contact an Illinois Family Law Attorney If you have remarried, but now realize you may have made a mistake and are considering a divorce, contact a compassionate DuPage County family law attorney to discuss your options. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule your consultation at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.