Parenting Tips For Divorce
Managing a new child custody and visitation schedule is difficult for just about every family, especially when you are learning to parent on your own. Keeping a few critical tips in mind can help make the transition easier for everyone and allow for the smoothest adjustment to your new lifestyle.
Divorce expert Gary Neuman says that one mistake divorced parents tend to make is putting the child in the role of messenger. This adds additional stress and pressure on the child, making him or her feel at the root of the tension.
It also highlights two parents who are unable to negotiate on their own, a fact most children don’t needed to be reminded about in the throes of divorce. If you can’t communicate with your ex-spouse in person, stick to email. It’s easier to be clear with written communication, anyways.
Likewise, parents should recognize they will have their own emotional baggage about divorce. Don’t take this as an opportunity to unload your emotional problems on the children, either. Recognize that if you need additional help to talk through divorce aftermath, seek out a professional therapist so that you can keep strong boundaries with your children. The key point here is that children of divorce don’t need anything extra to cope with, so you can do everyone a favor by sticking to boundaries.
Just as you need space to share your emotions and work through the process, children do, too. Make sure that children feel comfortable talking to you in a neutral setting. When children are sharing their concerns, try to keep your responses to a minimum. Instead, give children the opportunity to share their own perspective. It can be tremendously helpful in letting them heal. If you would like to talk more about legal separation or divorce, contact an Illinois family law attorney today.