How Can I Keep the Conflict from Escalating in My Illinois Divorce?

 Posted on June 02, 2020 in Divorce

The difficulty level of your divorce depends on a variety of factors, but perhaps one of the most important aspects is how much you and your spouse are willing to cooperate with one another throughout the process. If you and your spouse agree to be amicable, your divorce will be much less stressful. It can be frustrating when you are trying to facilitate cooperation while your spouse has made it clear that he or she is refusing to compromise. Dealing with a combative spouse can not only make your divorce much more taxing, but it can also bring about issues that are not typically found in amicable or uncontested divorces. If you are facing a contentious divorce, you may want to take the following steps to ensure that you can resolve your disputes effectively:

Know What Your End Goal Is

In most modern divorces, rather than going to court, many spouses work together with the help of their respective attorneys to settle their divorce issues. However, some couples who simply cannot come to an agreement may end up having to go to court so a judge can make decisions on their behalf. However, it is often best to try to avoid a divorce trial if possible. Even though you and your spouse may not see eye to eye on every issue, resolving your disputes outside the courtroom can save a great deal of time, expense, and emotional anguish.

Most of the time, people know or can guess fairly accurately before they file for divorce if their spouse is going to be cooperative or not. If you suspect that your spouse may not be the easiest person to deal with during your divorce, you should begin thinking about your divorce ahead of time. What do you want out of the divorce? What is your end goal? Knowing what you want can help you focus on achieving those results, and you can try to avoid unnecessary conflict over issues that are not important to you.

Focus on What You Can Do to Resolve Conflicts

It is not uncommon for disagreements during your divorce to be laced with underlying resentment over things experienced during the marriage. These feelings can make themselves known in statements such as “You always do this!” While it can be easy to fall prey to emotion or anger when addressing divorce-related issues, this can often drag conflicts out and make them more difficult to resolve. In many cases, it is a better use of your time to focus on what you can do to reach a resolution to your disputes that you can both agree on. You cannot change the past, so rather than spending your energy dwelling on previous conflicts or arguments, you can look at how to make decisions that will benefit you in the future.

Consider Using a Mediator to Settle Disputes

If you are struggling to resolve issues by communicating directly with your spouse or through your respective attorneys, it can be beneficial to work with someone else to help you reach agreements. In these cases, mediation can help you reach a settlement you can both agree on. Mediators are third-party individuals who will help you and your spouse talk about your issues in a calm and professional manner. Part of the mediator’s job is to help you and your spouse work together and reach compromises, and they can help prevent conflicts from escalating while ensuring that you both understand your rights and are satisfied with your divorce settlement.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

Ending your marriage is bound to be a daunting process, but you may need to take steps to keep conflicts with your spouse from making the process even more contentious. If you are looking to get a divorce, but your spouse is being uncooperative, you should discuss your case with a knowledgeable St. Charles divorce lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you complete your divorce in an efficient manner while ensuring that your rights are protected. To schedule a consultation, call our office today at 630-409-8184.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201911/keep-the-conflict-small-4-tips-avoid-high-conflict