How Can I Help My Adult Children Accept and Cope With My Divorce?

 Posted on April 20, 2021 in Divorce

There are a number of well-touted statistics that are commonly thrown around when it comes to divorce. As we all know, around half of all marriages will end in divorce. Even though the divorce rate is decreasing, the divorce rate of those who are over the age of 50 is actually rising and has been since the 1990s. The Pew Research Center reports that the divorce rate for adults over the age of 50 has nearly doubled since the ‘90s, while the divorce rate for adults over the age of 65 has nearly tripled. Many people are aware of the impact that a divorce can have on a child when they live in a household with parents going through a divorce. What many people do not realize is that many of the older couples who are getting these divorces have adult children who are greatly affected by their parents’ divorces.

Tips to Help Your Adult Child Through Your Divorce

Many times -- both parent and child -- think that handling a divorce will be much easier on the child when they are an adult. But just because a person is an adult does not mean they cannot be affected if their parents decide to split up. This can be just as distressing to a person as an adult as when they were a child. As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see your child in the kind of emotional distress that comes with watching your parents split up, but there are things you can do to help. Here are a few things you can do to help your child cope with your divorce:

• Do not share every last detail about your issues with your spouse. Your child may be an adult and you may have a good friendship with them, but your spouse is still their parent and they do not need to hear all of the gory details of your marital issues.

• Do not say bad things about your spouse. Often, we may say things out of anger or spite, but you should be careful not to badmouth your spouse out of either. Your children have had the opportunity to have a positive relationship with both parents and it would be unfair of you to try to ruin the relationship they have with their other parent.

• Do not overly rely on your children for support. It can feel natural to turn to your adult children for support during your divorce -- after all, they do know you well and you are likely to have a good relationship with them. However, it is unfair to them if you look to them for all of your support during your divorce. You should seek support from other friends or perhaps even professional support, in addition to your child.

Speak With Our St. Charles, IL Divorce Attorney

Some parents may think that because their children are adults, they will not be as affected by the divorce as they would have been when they were younger. Sometimes, it may not even occur to parents that their adult children may have a difficult time coping with their divorce. However, divorce can be difficult for everyone in the family. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you keep that stress to a minimum while you go through your divorce. Schedule your consultation to discuss your situation with our knowledgeable Kane County divorce lawyer by calling our office at 630-409-8184.

Sources:

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/adult-children-of-divorce-advice-to-parents/

https://www.aarp.org/relationships/family/info-2006/way_they_were.html

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-adult-children-of-divorce-find-their-voice