Strategies for Helping Your Children Cope With a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Children of divorce

Divorce is stressful for everyone involved. Children, however, often have the most difficulty adjusting to all of the changes. A divorce can also affect a child for years after the final decree is entered. There are several things you can do as a parent can help your child cope with the divorce.

Listen to Their Problems and Worries

Children, just like adults, feel loved and cared for when they know you are listening to them. This is more than just hearing what they have to say. Listening requires you to both be active in showing you understand what they are worried about while also withholding any judgments or solutions until after the child is done sharing. In fact, resolving their concerns in the moment is less important than encouraging your children to express their feelings honestly.

Find Someone to Talk With

You may feel like you are doing well, but a divorce can wear you down, and you may be tempted to vent to your children. However, such venting can confuse children, make them feel anxious, and can negatively affect their relationship with the other parent, Find a friend or a counselor to talk with about your feelings and frustrations when your children are not around. This will give you more patience with your children and can help you manage your own stress level.

Cooperate With the Other Parent

The best thing divorcing parents can do for their children is to cooperate as much as possible in all parenting decisions. This means being flexible and keeping communication lines open when it comes to the children. If speaking to your spouse is too stressful, use email or texts messages. You may be getting a divorce, but the two of you will always be the parents of your children. Children fare better during and after a divorce when their parents cooperate on parenting issues.

Be Happy When They Spend Time With the Other Parent

Part of your job as a parent is to make sure your children continue to have a healthy relationship with the other parent. If your child hears you say you are lonely when they are gone or sense that his or her time with the other parent bothers you, it can harm your child mentally and emotionally. The child can feel like he or she is being forced to take sides and choose between parents.

If you have questions about allocation of parental resposibilities, parenting time, or any other divorce issue, you need to meet with an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney. Call the  Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.,  today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000