What are the Danger Signs of Divorce?

 Posted on December 00,0000 in DuPage County divorce lawyer

Doctor John Gottman has been studying married couples for 30 years. He uses a "Love Lab" at the University of Washington to monitor couples for a period of 24 hours. Gottman is from the Gottman Institute in Seattle. The research performed by Gottman has led to the creation of four signs that a couple is headed for divorce.

Criticism in a Relationship

One of the most common signs of a divorce, according to Gottman, is the presence of criticism in your relationship. There is nothing wrong with spouses complaining to each other about certain things within the relationship, but criticism is a different monster. Criticism involves critically judging your spouse or making critical comments, which should not be present in a relationship.

Presence of Defensiveness

A relationship that has defensiveness present could be headed towards a divorce. When a spouse finds it necessary to defend him-or-herself, it is a form of criticizing the other spouse. This is a form of blaming the other person involved in the marriage, which can cause friction between the couple.

Disrespect

When disrespect is present in a marriage, then your relationship could be very close to ending in a divorce. This is the single-best predictor of divorce. Disrespect can include anything from disgust to name-calling to sarcasm to acting better than your spouse and much more.

Tuning-Out Your Spouse

The fourth and final predictor of divorce, based on the research performed by Gottman, is tuning-out your spouse. When you simply ignore what your spouse is saying due to criticism or defensiveness, the relationship can deteriorate very quickly. When a person begins to tune out their spouse, it means that he or she could be dealing with a high level of anxiety.

If your relationship develops any danger signs of divorce, contact an Illinois family law attorney to  discuss your options. Call 630-409-8184 today.