Children and Divorce: How to Help Your Child through the Process

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Children of divorce

Divorcing with children is not uncommon--anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of divorcing couples have at least one child under the age of 18. Divorcing with children adds an extra layer of complexity to divorces--you have to think about who the child will live with, what the parenting arrangements will be, how you will share the cost of raising a child and more. Children all react to divorce differently and some can have a difficult time coping with the separation of their parents. Here are five ways you can help your child through your divorce:

Be Honest

There is no reason that you should try to hide your divorce from your children. They are very perceptive and can probably tell that something is wrong, even if you do not tell them. It is best for everyone if you tell your children that you are getting a divorce in a straightforward manner and in a way they can understand.

Show The Love

Children are naturally self-centered, so a lot of children naturally think that the divorce is their fault. They may think that there is something wrong with them and they do not deserve to be loved. It is important for you to reinforce the idea that the divorce is not their fault and has nothing to do with them. Show extra love to your child and reassure them that both parents love them very much and will still be in their life, even if they do not live together all of the time.

Reassure Your Kids

A lot of children will have a myriad of emotions about their parents’ divorce. This is normal, but children may often become ashamed of their feelings and their thoughts. You should reassure your child that everything they are feeling is normal and legitimate. Their concerns have merit and deserve to be recognized. Ask them about their feelings and talk through some ways they can cope with them.

Do Not Fight In Front Of Them

Perhaps one of the most important things to remember is not to fight in front of your children. Seeing their parents separate is hard enough--they do not need to witness bitter arguments and yelling between them too. You must also remember not to force your children to take sides. Putting your child in that sort of situation makes them choose loyalty to one parent, which is not fair to the child who loves both of his or her parents.

Get Help

It is okay for you to seek outside help to allow both you and your children cope with the divorce. Joining support groups, seeing a psychologist or getting help from a family therapist are all good options for those who are going through a divorce. Sometimes it is good to talk with a person who is outside of the situation to help you through.

Get Representation from an Aurora Divorce Attorney

If you have children and are going through a divorce, you know how difficult it can be to guide your children and make sure they are emotionally sound during this process. Disagreements with your ex can be detrimental to your children’s development, which is why you should seek help from an experienced DuPage County divorce lawyer. Entrusting the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. with your family’s case can help you settle disputes with your ex and put your children at ease. Contact the office at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

Sources:

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/california/10-tips-to-help-your-child-through-divorce-4247.shtml

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/family-law-attorney/how-raise-happy-cooperative-child/201302/8-strategies-helping-kids-adjust-divorce