Can Parallel Parenting Plans Work in a High-Conflict Illinois Divorce?

 Posted on June 18, 2020 in Divorce

One of the biggest concerns that people have about divorce is how it affects the children who are stuck in the middle of these situations. Multiple studies have been conducted on the effect of divorce on kids throughout their lives and while research is always ongoing, these studies have shown that the divorce itself is not what affects children -- it is the conflict to which they are exposed. Some children who have divorced parents grow up to be successful and well-adjusted adults, while some have more trouble. The children who grew up to be successful tended to be from families in which the divorce was fairly peaceful, while the ones who experienced issues were usually from families that had a lot of conflict and stress because of the divorce. When you have children, you do not get to simply forget about your child’s other parent and never see him or her again. The reality is, you must be willing to compromise and communicate with your child’s other parent for child-rearing. Unfortunately, some couples simply cannot seem to make co-parenting work. The good news is that there are alternatives to co-parenting, with the most popular option being parallel parenting.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

In many ways, parallel parenting is much like co-parenting. In both instances, you and your ex still both have parenting time with your children. However, in a parallel parenting situation, you and your ex are much more disengaged from one another, unlike in a co-parenting relationship. It helps to think of its namesake -- parallel lines. They always run in the same direction but angled in such a way that they never collide. For example, in a parallel parenting agreement, the parents may communicate or even see each other only to make a decision about the children’s medical care or schooling, but then make day-to-day decisions on their own while the kids are in their care.

Choosing a Parenting Style

When it comes to parenting, there is no wrong answer because there is also no necessarily right answer. Each family and situation is different when it comes to parenting after a divorce. Some parents may find that co-parenting feels natural to them after divorce, while other parents may need to engage in parallel parenting instead. As long as you and your children are happy and healthy, the style or format of your parenting plan is up to you. The parenting plan document is legally binding, and it typically outlines who will make decisions for a child and how those decisions will be made, as well as when the children will spend time with each parent.

Contact a Geneva Divorce Attorney

It can be frustrating trying to work with your ex-spouse if he or she refuses to cooperate. This can lead to even more tension and stress for you and your children. If you think that parallel parenting might be right after your divorce, you should speak with a knowledgeable Kane County parenting time lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we will do our best to create a parenting plan that addresses the conflicts between you and your ex. To schedule a consultation, call our office today at 630-409-8184.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whats-the-best-alternative-to-co-parenting-when-exs-dont-get-along_b_9587520

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201309/parallel-parenting-after-divorce

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/fulltext.asp?DocName=075000050K602.10