3 Tips for Successful Parenting After Your Illinois Divorce

 Posted on January 08, 2020 in Divorce

Many people who are unhappily married with children worry about how a divorce will affect their kids. Some of them end up “staying together for the kids.” It would be naive of anyone to think that a divorce does not affect your children -- studies show that it clearly does. However, those effects are often short-term concerns that, with proper attention, will eventually dissipate. Staying together for the kids often has a more lasting effect on the children, and it can actually do much more harm than good in the long run. As more information becomes available about the impact divorce has on children, more parents are making the decision to split up for the sake of everyone. After the split, you will notice changes in your children as they try to make sense of the event. The following are three tips for parenting after your divorce that can help you manage this transition.

Never Make Your Children Choose Between You and Your Ex-Spouse

One of the worst things you can do is to force your children to choose between their parents. Not only is this completely unfair, but it can also be damaging to your kids. Even though you and your spouse are no longer together, you are both still and will forever be parents to your offspring. Your children have the right to maintain close and loving relationships with both of you.

Do Your Best to Get Along With Your Ex-Spouse

Even though the last thing you might want to do is "play nicely" with your ex, it can actually be the best course of action to take. Your children watch everything you do and hear much of what you say. Your actions are what they will mimic in similar situations. You should set an example for your children that even though you no longer love your ex, you can still be respectful and civil toward them. Open communication and getting along with your ex can also be helpful when it comes to making co-parenting decisions.

Establish New Routines for Your Children

Children need structure in their lives. They do best when they have predictable routines and know what to expect. Divorce can disrupt their way of life, sending them into chaos and causing them to struggle to adjust to their new reality. A parenting plan will outline the details of parental responsibilities post-divorce, including a schedule of parenting time. You should try your best to help them through this major transition by setting up new routines and rules that your children are meant to follow when they are with each parent.

Contact a Kendall County Parenting Time Lawyer

Being the best parent you can be after going through a divorce can be challenging, to say the least. The first step is hiring an Oswego divorce attorney who has experience working with divorce cases involving children. There are certain issues that must be considered and resolved regarding your children, such as parenting time and child support. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand how delicate a divorce involving children can be. We can help you make the best decisions for you and your kids. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/splitopia/201503/yes-you-can-raise-happy-children-after-divorce

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/8-tips-for-better-co-parenting-after-divorce/

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html