Tips For Talking to Your Children About Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Children of divorce

Those who have gone through a divorce will tell you that it is no easy feat. In addition to all of the logistics of a divorce, it also comes with emotional worries and changes, especially to children. Children are usually flexible and good adapters, so most children are fine after a short period of reassurance from their parents. In order to ensure that your child understands the divorce and transitions to their new life, it is important that you understand how to talk to your children about the divorce. Here are five tips that might make telling your kids a bit easier:

1. Choose the Right Time to Tell Them

Timing is everything. If you and your spouse are just fighting, do not tell your kids that you are getting a divorce because you threatened one in a fight. Kids can be sensitive about divorce, so until your divorce is finalized or close to being finalized, you should hold off on the conversation.

2. Tell Them at a Family Meeting

Chances are, this is one of the last times that your entire family will be together. Using “we” statements can be helpful to children so the blame is distributed amongst you and your spouse, not just to one of you. Make sure that your children understand that the divorce has nothing to do with them and everything to do with mom and dad.

3. Plan Your Conversation

Planning out what you are actually going to say can be a good way to keep yourself on track. You want to make sure that you do not ramble on about things that are unknown or false. There are a lot of uncertainties in divorce, but this conversation should not be one of them.

4. Keep the Message Sweet and Simple

This conversation that you have with your children should be based on facts and change. It is important that you let your children feel whatever they are going to feel. You should tell your children that you and your spouse still love them, but that there will be changes, such as where you and your spouse will live and when your children will see each of you.

5. Adjust Your Conversation Based on Your Child’s Age

Age is a big factor in how much children comprehend and what they can actually understand and different stages of their lives. When children are young, they do not understand the complexity of relationships, so they must be told in simple terms. Teenagers are more understanding about situations that may have led to the divorce, which is why many teenagers are more concerned about the impact the divorce will have on them. You should tailor your conversation in a way that you know your child will understand.

Contact a Compassionate Kendall County Divorce Lawyer

Divorce affects everyone in the family - not just you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Though it can be hard to talk with your children about your divorce, it is important that you do so for your children’s sake. By entrusting your divorce in the hands of a skilled Yorkville divorce attorney, you can know that you are getting the help on the topics that you need help with. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss your case and come up with a divorce settlement that can benefit the whole family. Call the office at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/How-to-Talk-to-Your-Children-about-Divorce.aspx

https://psychcentral.com/lib/talking-to-your-children-about-divorce/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/children-and-divorce.htm#tell