Three Tips for a New Year of Successful Co-Parenting 

 Posted on December 30, 2021 in Child Custody

Creating a shared parenting agreement is often one of the most stressful parts of divorce. Often, one or both parents believe they alone know what is best for their child and will try to minimize the other parent’s parenting time or parental responsibilities. While this can be a tempting short-term strategy, in the long run, it leads to sad and confused children and angry, burnt-out parents.

But when divorcing spouses can work together to create a parenting agreement and commit to peaceful co-parenting, it can be possible to have children share time in two households without endless conflict or stress. However, such a commitment must happen from the beginning - when the parenting agreement is being created. If you are getting divorced and want to work cooperatively with your spouse now and in the future, read on.

Give the Benefit of the Doubt - And Then Give it Again

After divorce, spouses are often focused on the many years of preceding conflict. But relitigating arguments with your ex gets you nowhere - and makes it more difficult to focus on good parenting in the present. Even when your spouse presents behaviors that you find triggering, try to keep in mind that they might not be trying to upset you; they might just be themselves. If you can give your ex the benefit of the doubt, even when they do things that annoy you, it will be much easier to share parenting responsibilities.

Remember That Your Child Needs Their Other Parent

As your ex’s former spouse, you often know their shortcomings and character faults in intimate detail. Your child, however, still sees your spouse as their parent and loves them accordingly. Children naturally love and admire their parents and having a positive relationship with both parents is essential to a child’s well-being and sense of self. Even if you cannot imagine how anyone could idolize your ex, it is important not to interfere with how your child sees him or her.

Consider Your Child’s Future Perspective

During the throes of divorce and the tumultuous years that come after, young children do not have an adult’s perspective and often believe whatever their parents tell them. Yet that period does not last forever, and children eventually grow up and form relationships of their own. Many parents treat each other with contempt and bitterness after divorce, only to find themselves alienated later on because their children look back with a more informed adult perspective. Even if you do not want to make certain compromises now, think about your child’s perspective in the future - and parent in a mature way that sets a good example for them down the road.

Speak to a Will County Parenting Agreement Lawyer

At the The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we know how important a peaceful home and a happy New Year are to you and your children. That is why our skilled Oswego parenting agreement attorney will work hard to help you create a parenting agreement that is cooperative and amicable, so your family can have a smooth transition into co-parenting this year and every year thereafter. Call us today to schedule your initial consultation at 630-409-8184.

Source:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8675000&SeqEnd=12200000