Tips For Navigating Graduations for Co-Parents

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

You have probably been thinking about this event since the day your child was born. High school graduation is a mark in a child’s life that symbolizes their path to adulthood. They might be going off to college and your life might be changing forever. What you may not have thought about was the fact that you are divorced now. If you have gone through a rather troublesome divorce, attending events like these can be stressful for all involved--but they do not have to be. Here are some tips on how to behave civilly during your child’s special day:

Plan Ahead

Oftentimes, events such as graduations limit the number of tickets that each family is allotted to attend the event. If this is the case, you should plan ahead and make sure that you and your spouse have an equal number of tickets to allow all of your family members to attend the event. If need be, you should try to find additional tickets if you or your spouse have more family members than tickets.

Create Buffers

Ideally, you should try to sit with your ex during graduation. It will make your child happy to find the two most important people in their lives together during their special day. If sitting together would cause unwanted drama, you should try to create a buffer between the two of you. This can be as simple as sitting with family members in between you, or if that is also out of the question, finding seating that is apart from each other.

Be Respectful With New Spouses

If a step-parent has helped raise your child, you should allow them to attend the ceremony along with the other family members. The step-parent has been a part of your child’s life and has formed a relationship with your child, so it is only fair that they are allowed to celebrate too. If you or your spouse has a fairly new love interest, it is probably best to leave them at home. There is not much of a relationship between your child and your love interest, so there is no reason for them to attend.

Hold Separate Celebrations

If you know you will not be able to remain civil with your ex after the ceremony, it is probably best if you plan two separate celebrations. This way, your child gets to spend time with you without worrying about the two of you fighting the whole time. You also should not try to compete with your ex by planning a celebration at the same time as theirs. Your child has spent a decent amount of time juggling two holidays, birthday parties and other special occasions throughout the years--they deserve a stress-free celebration.

Focus on Your Child

The most important thing to remember is that this is your child’s big day--not yours. You should put your differences with your ex aside so that your child can enjoy their graduation. The focus should be on your child, not on your divorce and how you and your ex do not get along. If your child asks for a picture with the two of you together, oblige and take a photo--your child will cherish this for the rest of their life.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

Special events after a divorce can be difficult if your divorce was particularly nasty. Your child deserves parents who are tolerant enough to make their special days as pleasant as possible. The best way to prevent tension and contempt during these special events is to take every step possible in getting an amicable divorce. With the help of an experienced and compassionate Aurora divorce attorney, that may be possible. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss alternative dispute resolution options for your divorce. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-l-danois-jd/dos-and-donts-for-divorce_b_5426689.html

https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/10-tips-for-truce-on-graduation-day/