I Want a Divorce, My Spouse Does Not

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

When a marriage has reached a certain point, each spouse is at a crossroads of their own. You and your partner have the ability to decide whether to work together on improving the relationship or to admit that nothing more can be done to save the marriage. Obviously, the decision to work on reviving the marriage requires both of you to be on the same page and pulling in the same direction overall. If both of you choose to end the marriage, the divorce process can begin without delay. What happens, however, if you are ready for a divorce but your spouse wants to keep fighting for the relationship?

Be Absolutely Sure

Before you tell your spouse that you are ready for the marriage to be over, you need to be completely certain that is what you want. A divorce is a life-changing event that can lead to serious emotional reactions and psychological effect for years to come. When ending a marriage is necessary, such challenges are an accepted part of seeking new, post-divorce life, but it is not fair to you or your spouse for you to be casual about your decision. Talk to a counselor or a spiritual advisor become making your decision. Remember, if fixing your marriage does not work, divorce will always be an option, but the same is not true in reverse.

Be Respectful and Firm

Once you have reached your decision to divorce, do not say or do things to mislead your spouse. If you know that you are ready to file your divorce petition, talking about a vacation the two of you planned to take—but clearly never will—is deceptive and emotionally unfair. As soon as you are able to do so, tell inform your spouse of your plans to divorce. He or she is likely to experience a period of denial, and you will need to be consistent with your conversations. Do not be unnecessarily cruel or cold; this is a person you loved—and probably still love to an extent—and a civil divorce can pave the way for a more amicable relationship down the road.

Move Out If Necessary

Over the period of a few weeks, your spouse may eventually become agreeable to the idea of a divorce. A healthy marriage cannot survive if only one partner is committed, so, eventually, the divorce will proceed. If he or she cannot bring him- or herself to acknowledge the reality, you will probably need to move out of the marital home. Regardless of your spouse’s wishes, the court will accept a six-month period of living separate and apart as proof that your marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences and your divorce will be allowed to move forward.

Contact an Attorney

When you are considering a divorce, you should seek legal guidance from a skilled professional. Contact an experienced Aurora divorce attorney to discuss your situation. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule a confidential consultation at The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., today.

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+IV&ActID=2086&ChapterID=0&SeqStart=3800000&SeqEnd=5300000