Consider Confessing to Your Spouse During Your Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

As most people are aware, somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of all marriages today will eventually end in divorce. While this number has declined in recent years, a 60-70 percent success rate for marriage is still not all that encouraging. Marriages can break down for any number of reasons, and, in most cases, divorce is the result of a combination of many factors, some within the spouses’ control and some not.

A Challenging Journey

The process of divorce, however, can be extremely difficult with many decisions to be made and arrangements to be negotiated. This does not even take into account the emotional and psychological struggle that many divorcing individuals go through as the process goes along. The cumulative effect of all of the difficulties can be overwhelming at times, but some experts suggest that there may be a way to ease your mind a little and to provide emotional relief to your spouse at the same time. Confessing, or taking responsibility for wrongs you may have committed, can go a long way in making the divorce process much smoother for the both of you.

Religious Roots

Confession is a regular practice in several religions, including Judaism and Catholicism. Although the rituals are somewhat different, the act itself is a form of release and the beginning of psychological healing. Even without religious or divine connections, mental health research has shown that disclosing personal thoughts and feelings, particular those related to a traumatic or upsetting event leads to improved moods, fewer illnesses, and reduced psychological distress. One particular study demonstrated such benefits even without any type of forgiveness, absolution, or reconciliation, which seems to indicate the importance of the act of confession regardless of a subsequent reaction.

Divorce Application

So what does this mean for a divorce situation? Experts are not suggesting that confessing to your spouse is going to fix everything and rekindle your relationship. In fact, the reality is quite the opposite. By approaching your spouse with an attitude of humility and honesty, sincerely apologizing for the times you caused pain or problems can help both of you move forward. Examples of divorce-related confessions may include:

• During our marriage, I was often short-tempered and mean to you;
• I put my desires above yours, making you feel unappreciated and trapped;
• My actions hurt you when you did not deserve to be hurt;
• You tried to make our home happy and healthy, and I never appreciated your efforts; and
• I never apologized and did not tell you I loved you enough.

If confessing to your spouse sounds like a waste of time, imagine how you would feel if you heard your spouse say one of the above-listed things to you. Of course, sincerity matters, but if your spouse confessed to you, there is a good chance you will feel validated and empowered to seek a happier future.

Guidance for Your Divorce

When you are considering a divorce, it is important to work with a professional who will protect your rights every step of the way. Contact an experienced Aurora divorce attorney to get the representation you need. Call 630-409-8184 for a confidential consultation today.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-best-thing-you-can-do-during-your-divorce_us_57ff7796e4b0985f6d156b99?section=us_divorce

http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/healing-practice-confession