Children of Divorce: Negative Consequences

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Children of divorce

Divorce, by nature, lends itself to being an unpleasant experience for all parties. Between splitting financial assets, dividing debt, and even relocation, getting a divorce in Illinois can prove to be taxing. It is important to remember that this major life change can mean broad implications for loved ones as well--most importantly any children involved.

A child’s response to the divorce process directly correlates with their developmental stage. Generally, younger children display an increased attachment to authority figures and especially guardians. And watching parents separate can impact a child in several ways, including:

• Amplification of dependency on others;

• An increase in mistrust for parents over time; and

• Regression in development characterized by attention-seeking behaviors.

Adolescent-aged children cultivate self-reliance and become increasingly independent. Therefore, while younger children tend to become more dependent, the exact opposite is often true for teenagers. Age increases responsibility, and more importantly culpability.

Certain behaviors, often displayed by adolescents of divorced parents, can quickly become problematic. These include:

• Rebelliousness and anger;

• Lack of regard for rules and discipline;

• Mistrust of interpersonal relationships and selfish mentalities; and

• Blame towards parents.

However, there are ways to combat your child’s negative response to the entire divorce process. Some are simple, such as keeping the children out of conflict and avoiding bad-mouthing your ex-spouse. Others, however, are more subliminal. Specifically, do not use a child as a courier between divorced parents. Whether it is a verbal message or a piece of mail, this act clearly illustrates the separation of the family. With that said, do encourage a child to communicate his or her feelings.

Perhaps the worst thing a child can experience is an ugly custody battle, but sometimes a courtroom is unavoidable. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., you will be provided with more than legal expertise, but emotional support for everyone impacted. With clients from the larger Kane, DeKalb, and Kendall, Illinois areas, we strive to provide the professionalism and attention each case deserves. For a consultation regarding child custody or other issues in family law, contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today.